Monday, February 09, 2004

"The average Christian that I meet today is the spiritual equivalent of a dry well. The outer form of the well is there and fairly recognizable, but deep down there's no water. Go deep enough into most people and you hit a brittle, dusty parchment of faith. What happened to promises of 'living water', of light burdens and easy yokes, of 'peace that passeth all understanding'? What happened to lights that shine in dark places and moving mountains and 'mounting up with wings of eagles'? What happened to faith that was so powerful it drove a group of guys in the fishing business to walk away from all that they'd built, just to follow a guy they'd never even met before?" >>>

This is definately something that has been building in the back of my mind over the last few months. Also the truth about HONESTLY being in Love with Jesus. In church yesterday we sang a song with a chorus that went "I am so in love with, I am so in love with, I am so in love with You my Lord, My God." I stood there with my arms wrapped around my body and my eyes closed. I couldn't sing those words. My mouth wouldn't open. Everything else around me was fast-paced and vibrant. I wanted to be in my own little room and cry. Because this is my strong DESIRE...but I feel so far from being able to say those words. I am so in love with you.

Why is that? Well, because I feel like there are so many other things vying for my love in this world around me. Some things have a bit of my love-more than I would consciously want to give them. Some things are soo close to having me reciprocate. Others I want to give my love to, but it seems almost unfathomable to really happen. So when love is cluttered up by SO many smaller recipients, how much love is left to give the the one who is Himself LOVE?

So the process begins of sorting out the 'less wild lovers' that take up more than they should of this precious thing. When tryin to let go and sever some of the ties, it hurts just as much as any human relationship coming to an end. It's just as hard. And there are just as many reminders all around you, that beg for my lingering thought or longing. But I want that no more, so I choose to not remember. To not be swayed. To call upon LOVE to help me in this process.

One more step closer to the 'living water' and the 'consuming fire' that I so completely yearn for. Every day is another step. I just have to take it. But I'm not alone on this journey. LOVE brings many encouragers along the way, and LOVE is always there to give me strength when I have none of my own to rely on.

Rus summed things up best: "...I am bored. And what I don't need is more 'Purpose Driven-singalong' Christianity in my life. What I do need, somehow, is to return to the joy of my salvation; to a wild, wreckless, unhomogonized, 100 proof, burn your throat, make your eyes water, unquentchable faith!"

1 whatevers: said...

what song are those lyrics from? "I am so in love with, I am so in love with, I am so in love with You my Lord, My God." I've been searching the internet for it and this is the only link I can find to them... I love this song and can't find it! Please help!