Wednesday, October 22, 2003


Just an update now, I'll post again next week when I know more.

Mom's surgery went well...they removed a few more nodes in her breast, and now she has been working on scheduling her Chemo treatements. But this week she felt some 'arthritic' pain in her knee. So the doctors looked into it and said it looked 'suspicious'. Now, I'm not all about reading into doctor-speak, so I don't exactly know what 'suspicious' may indicate. But they had her make an appt. on Monday in Pittsburg to have it looked at. They have also cancelled her chemo scheduling until they find out about her knee.

Well, mom is extremely bummed about this. She just wanted to get the chemo started and all. Now she is fretting that it is cancer in her knee, and fearing that she'll have to go thru all that stuff again. God is working here, I just don't know how right now.

Honestly, I've been praying and sending out these updates, and talking to mom when I can. But I feel numb to it all. I guess that is the price to pay when I live 5.5 hours from her. The reality hasn't sunk in...but I think it's starting to. The more little things that come up, the more I just wanna be there to hear the news - rather than have it reach me when it ends up reaching me 5 hours later (sometimes more.)

To be able to reach out and hug her when the news hits her ears. To be able to cry with her and hand her a kleenex when she feels the weight of it all. To be able to wake up and run to her and tell her God has a plan that is higher than we could ever imagine .... pray with her...and hope it cuts through the blindness, the see her finally understand and grasp THE HOPE that I have been clinging to.

The only thing that keeps me going.

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